What is normal?

Getting older doesn’t get easy and aging when you have Lupus is exhausting – literally.

It was 2001, while still in my 20’s when I was first diagnosed with Lupus and my adventure began with a bang. I had to get my first kidney biopsy right off the bat and shortly after they discovered my Lupus also came with an anti-coagulant condition. During the past 16 years I’ve raised my daughter and supported my husband while he was away on deployments all the while secretly wishing my health would be ‘just normal’.

But, I’ve yet to meet anyone who had ‘normal’ health. Each one of us has something different about us or has gone through things we’ve had to deal with when it comes to our health. Most of the people you see walking around you don’t show how sick they are on the inside and don’t want their disease or illness to define them.

It has taken me many years to accept the limitations my Lupus gives me. I have always been amazed at how my body adapts and has energy when I desperately need it or when it tells me that I need to stop. As I’ve gotten older it tells me to stop a lot more.

One thing I do is make sure I eat healthy (but there’s always room for improvement) and I do Crossfit. I know – Crossfit? Yeah. I started about 2 years ago and found it very liberating. I was never – I repeat never – athletic in school. I was, however, in the military for 5 years and even went to airborne school. I found out that I was strong and I loved the exhausted feeling of a great workout.

When I first started Crossfit I wasn’t working at the craft store and I had plenty of time to rest and recover. Now that I work part time I find that I have to scale back my work out intensity and rest more than I would like. As long as I listen to my body and stay consistent with my workouts I always feel better. But, a part of getting older means you get wiser, right?

This past year I’ve had become much more wiser – which means for me to rest more when my body tells me to. I look normal on the outside and I appear fairly strong – but I’m not normal. Well, at least my health isn’t normal. I always have to remind myself of that, too. When I don’t I tend to over do it and my body lets me know it was a mistake.

It’s taken me a while to get used to not being able to do all the things I want to do – but I know that I have Lupus to let me learn that. When I do have to rest and I can’t sleep, knitting helps me relax and just be calm. I also know that I have still have much to learn and much to rely on God for.

This week, though, I’ve been grateful to get back into a routine and make sure to get consistent with my exercise (and naps). I’m even grateful for the rainy, cozy weather, too. Soon it will begin to get lighter out earlier and then it won’t be so hard for me to wake up in the mornings to get to the gym. So, I will just continue my own kind of normal.

If you want to read more about Lupus click HERE



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